by Esmallyn Reyes

Last night I dreamt that God was a woman. She appeared in what seemed like a blacked out limbo; she appeared piece by piece. She was hideous even when dressed in this divine white, possessing all the physicalities that humans have claimed notorious over the years. My idea of God was betrayed; my idea of there being a perfect God was distorted. “What if God isn’t perfect because of her physicalities, but instead because of the supernatural powers that she possesses?”, I suddenly asked myself as the epiphany settled in.

What if being perfect only pertains to this sort of impalpable divineness (aka supernatural powers)? God is omnipotent, as they is all powerful, omniscient as they is all- knowing, and omnipresent as they is present everywhere. Would it be safe to say that these are the qualities that make them perfect? Would it be safe to say that the reason why humans are doomed to be imperfect is because in order to be perfect we have to be on the same divine consciousness? Does this mean that as a being who possesses consciousness it is possible to reach this divine consciousness? After all, all consciousness seems to be a part of the same consciousness. All of these questions and thoughts rushed through my head, and eventually this idea seeped through. This big hypothetical came to vision that, though clearly beyond my knowledge, perfectly made sense.

What if God does remember who, when, where, how and why they came into existence?

What if God used to be human or used to be an entity similar to humans and that’s why humans reflect their image? What if before they created the world in which I live in, there was another world in which they lived in? A world that allowed consciousness to be tangible in the form of knowledge, a world that allowed for one’s consciousness to grow, expand, eventually allowing these entities to embody anything they imagined.

God was absolutely determined when seeking this knowledge as a means to develop their consciousness. God knew that reaching different levels of consciousness would grant them power. They understood at one point that as an entity with a consciousness and the resource of unlimited knowledge, it was possible to become the great divine; it was possible to become perfect. There’s this question that becomes vivid when thinking about this: Who created God? And this entity that created God, where are they? Did God, knowing the power that this entity possessed, destroy them so that God themself could claim their own universe? If there was an entity, prior to the current God, then how did they not know that someone was bound to destroy them and take their place? So that they’re able to rule their own world; So that they could become God

It seems as if God used this world that they used to live in as a contributor to evaluate what should be created in this world that I live in. God certainly has made it much harder to reach these levels of consciousness. We don’t live as long as we initially did. We used to live for up to 900 years, but somehow we have digressed. Why is that? Though 900 years is only a decimal of the years God has lived, did God understand that 900 years of living was too risky?  After all, due to our free-will we constantly have betrayed God and continue to do so. Who is to say that, in these 900 years of living, someone wouldn’t have taken the same trajectory God once took?

How much knowledge can a human grasp in 900 years? Is it possible to grasp all the knowledge the world has to offer in those years? I think it’s safe to say that it is possible that in those 900 years we could’ve unlocked the same knowledge that God once unlocked. We would have reached a certain level of consciousness, and this level of consciousness would have allowed us to at least understand how to create entities. It is also safe to say that if the world possessed only about 0.05% of God’s knowledge with the understating of how to create entities, then the entity who created God probably owned enough knowledge to create a world and other entities but had yet to have the same consciousness that has allowed God to be omniscient.

Viewing this topic of perfection through this new lens, humans have strived to be prototypes of this generic idea of what perfection looks like for centuries. We are social creatures that worship validation, just like God. Yet, even when understanding this piece, it has never made sense to me why people strive to be perfect or fit the physical standards in place. It has never made sense how perfection was conceptualized to pertain to the physical appearance. In a way it is inevitable as this world propels you to value what is of materials, but did it not occur to people that along the lines of these religious texts when perfection is mentioned in relation to God, that the perfection being spoken of is not one of material as God isn’t physical. We’ve misunderstood the meaning. We find this perfection when we strive to be close to God. When we mend our consciousness to understand the illusions of the world we are placed in. When we strive to fulfill our mind, body and spirit with knowledge, the same way God once did. Maybe this is what God wanted at the end of everything. How much will we fight to become our ultimate selves? To show that even when we are limited in this earth, when knowledge isn’t as tangible as it used to be, when the world has distorted the idea of living, even then… humans with their fluid existence can become anything they imagine; including a god themselves. Is God building an army of worshippers, or is he building an army of gods?


If humanity unraveled differently from today’s history, would humans still come to the same conclusions on what’s true and false in this world? If your consciousness experienced a different life experience, which beliefs would it have? This question has revealed to me that knowledge as we know it is fluid; it is not fixed given that our own conscious beliefs can easily differ depending on the lifestyle. For this reason, most of my beliefs haven’t been fixed. It is not to say that all current beliefs are unrealistic; it is only to say that maybe attaching ourselves to our own beliefs isn’t always helpful. We strive towards finding concepts that resonate with our lifestyles as a way to stabilize and ground ourselves in the reality in which we live in. However, I have abandoned this way of being and now float on this abyss of different hypotheticals – considering everything that may or may not be. I innately understand that everything that floats in this network of knowledge holds its truth even when becoming a paradox in unison with other knowledge. I believe that, just like knowledge, the world itself is interconnected, and in order to further comprehend life we need to become receptive and open to the possibility of matters coexisting. God created life in their complexion: intricate. With infinite knowledge therefore infinite levels of consciousness, infinite emotions and beauties, infinite possibilities, infinite capability for growth. What God created was indefinitely flawed yet somehow flawless reflecting once again God’s paradoxical intricacy. 


“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect” –  MT


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